This Drifting Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we consider the television landscape of the past year, a handful of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with woeful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third series started, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a very rare no-star review, it was difficult to know where to start listing the problems. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and consumption? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so poor they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the experience was like reading a marketing catalogue. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for explicit exploits as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.

James White
James White

Digital strategist and content creator with a passion for storytelling and data-driven marketing insights.